Guides
The custody handover checklist
Handover is the moment where a schedule meets real life: a bag, a time, two adults and a child who notices everything. Almost all of the friction comes from three things — something forgotten, a time that was never actually agreed, and a conversation held in the wrong place. Here is a practical checklist, sensible timings, and a way to stop relying on memory.
Plain-text checklist you can print, pin to the fridge or paste into your notes app.
What travels with the child
Keep this as one standing list rather than remembering it each cycle.
The bag
- School uniform or kit for the days ahead
- Enough clothes for the stay, plus one spare set
- Comfort item, favourite toy or book
- Chargers and headphones for older children
School and clubs
- Homework, reading record and anything signed
- PE kit, swimming kit or instrument on the right day
- Club times and location for the coming week
- Non-uniform, trip or dress-up days coming up
The short handover note
- Any medication given, and when the next dose is due
- Sleep, appetite or mood worth knowing about
- What went well, in one line — it sets the tone
- Anything the other home needs to action this week
Timing and place
Fix the time, not just the day
“Friday” causes more messages than “Friday 5pm”. One stated time removes the negotiation, and children settle faster when the change happens at the same point each cycle.
Use a neutral place when doorsteps are hard
School, nursery or a club means the child moves between homes without the adults needing a conversation. A car park or café works too — the point is a place neither home owns.
Give yourself a reminder the night before
Almost every forgotten kit bag is a night-before problem, not a handover-morning one. A reminder the evening before is the single highest-value habit here.
Keep the handover itself short and warm
Two minutes, child-focused, no scheduling debates. Anything that needs discussing goes in a proposal or message afterwards, when nobody is standing in a doorway.
The handover, hour by hour
- 1
The night before
Pack the bag together with the child so they know what is coming. Check the coming week for clubs, trips and appointments, and note anything the other home needs.
- 2
One hour before
Confirm the time and place if anything has shifted. If you are running late, say so early — late notice causes more friction than lateness itself.
- 3
At the handover
Hand over the bag, say the one or two things that matter, and keep goodbyes brief and positive. Avoid discussing money, schedules or grievances in front of the child.
- 4
Afterwards
If something needs changing, send a proposal with a specific alternative rather than a long message thread. Log anything the other home should know while it is fresh.
Stop relying on memory
Every handover is its own calendar entry. Date, time, place and the standing packing note live on the handover itself, visible to both homes — so the list is never in one person’s head.
Both homes get reminded. Upcoming handovers appear on the dashboard and as in-app notifications, alongside who has the children tonight.
Changes go through proposals. Ask for a swap with a specific alternative; accept, decline or suggest another time, and an accepted swap writes itself into both calendars.
Private stays private. Personal entries around a handover show only as “Busy” to everyone else, so planning never costs you privacy.
Common questions
What should be in a custody handover checklist?
Clothes for the stay, school uniform and kit for the right days, homework and reading records, any medication with dosage timings, a comfort item, chargers, and a short note about sleep, mood or anything the other home needs to action.
What is the best time for a custody handover?
Most families choose after school on a Friday or early Sunday evening. What matters more than the exact time is that it is the same time every cycle, stated explicitly, so nobody has to renegotiate.
Where should handovers happen?
School, nursery or a club is often easiest, because the child moves between homes without the adults needing to meet. If a doorstep handover is difficult, a neutral public place such as a car park or café works well.
How can I stop forgetting things at handover?
Keep one standing list attached to the handover itself rather than remembering it each time, and set a reminder the evening before while there is still time to pack. In Co-Parenting Harmony the handover appears on both homes' dashboards with its own notes and notification.
What if we need to change a handover?
Send a swap proposal with a specific alternative date and time. The other parent can accept, decline or suggest another time, and an accepted swap becomes calendar entries in both homes so there is no ambiguity about what was agreed.
This is general practical guidance for organising handovers, not legal advice. If you have a court order or a safety concern, speak to a family law professional or the appropriate support service.
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